20 Reasons Why Dogs Don't Use Computers20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows 95. 19. Fetch command not available on all platforms. 18. Hard to read the monitor when your head is cocked to one side. 17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. 16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." 15. Fire hydrant icon simply too frustrating. 14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working. 13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee. 12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon screensaver. 11. Still trying to come with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging. 10. Oh, but they WILL....with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb. 9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome 8. 'Cos dogs ain"t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... 7. Barking in the next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. 6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test. 5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question! 4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver. 3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.masters.leg 2. Butt-sniffing more direct & less deceiving than online chat rooms. ...And the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...... 1. TrO{gO DsA{M HyAqR4Dc TgrOo TgYPmE WeljTyH P;AzWqS,... (Too Damn Hard to Type With Paws)... Humor Archive |