Rule # 1 - Anything we said six or eight months ago is
inadmissible in an argument. All comments
become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2 - If you don't want to dress like Victoria's
Secret girls, don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
Rule # 3 - If we say something that can be interpreted
in two ways, and one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 4 - It is in neither your best interest or ours
to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes
together.
Rule # 5 - Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women
how can we know how pretty you are?
Rule # 6 - Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the
genie to come out.
Rule # 7 - You can either ask us to do something OR
tell us how you want it done - not both.
Rule # 8 - Whenever possible, please say whatever you
have to say during commercials.
Rule # 9 - Christopher Columbus didn't need directions
and neither do we.
Rule # 10 - Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain about having their
boobs stared at.
Rule # 11 - When we're turning the wheel and the car is
nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This
is our exit" is not necessary.
Rule # 12 - Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective
than deceived.
