Material Safety Data Sheet: "WOMAN" - A Chemical Analysis
Element: Woman
Chemical Symbol: WO
Discovered by: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 53.6kg; may vary from 40 - 200kg
Occurrences: Copious quantities in urban areas
Physical Properties
Surface usually covered with painted film
Boils at various temperatures, freezes for no known reason
Melts if given special treatment
Bitter if incorrectly used
Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to common ore
Yields to pressure applied to correct points
Chemical Properties
Has great affinity for gold, silver and range of precious stones
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
May explode spontaneously without prior warning/no known reason
Insoluble in liquid but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
Common Uses
Highly ornamental, especially in a sports car
Great aid to relaxation
Very effective cleaning agent
Tests
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when found in natural state
Turns green when placed beside superior specimen
Potential Hazards
Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
Illegal to possess more than one although several can be
maintained at different locations. Warning: specimens must not come into direct contact with one another
