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36 Things A Woman Would NEVER Say
- Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being
friends.
- Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that
way.
- I think hairy backs are really sexy.
- Hey, get a whiff of that one.
- Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit
are just too cute.
- This diamond is way too big.
- I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
- Wow, it really is 14 inches!
- Does this make my butt look too small?
- I'm wrong, you must be right again.
- I think belching is really sexy.
- Sure, I'd love for us to have three-way sex with my best friend.
- Why don't you go out with your friends to see the strippers
tonight?
- I could never be with any other man, but I don't mind at all if you
see
other women.
- I insist that you always put your mother before me.
- I love the smell of a good cigar after sex.
- I think we should spend our life savings and buy a big, old bass
boat.
- Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.
- The smell of oil and gas makes me horny. Let's do it on the
workbench.
- That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up chick. I
wish I
could meet her one day.
- It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.
- Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson and go watch the Tyson
fight
at a bar.
- Hey, we didn't have sex last night!
- That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing. Wear it again
today.
- Your buddies tell the best stories. I could listen to them all
day.
- I understand.
- You don't swear enough.
- I love it when you finger me while you drive.
- Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway. It's cheaper
and
we can
spend the money we save on beer.
- Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside.
- Sure, you can wear your old work boots at our wedding. They go
with anything.
- I think I'll call him up and ask him out.
- Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team doesn't make that
girl
a slut!
She's just really friendly.
- I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it.
- Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.
- Oh yeah, any hole you want.
10 Things a Man Would NEVER Say
- I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
- While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
- I think hairy butts are really sexy.
- Her tits are just too big.
- Sometimes I just want to be held.
- That chick on Murder, She Wrote gives me a woody.
- Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
- We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping
and I can hold your purse.
- Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
- I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask
directions.
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